Trump Vows: “We’re going to bring Crime back into Law & Order,”
On March 25th, 2024 Trump vowed to “bring crime back into law and order” during a thank you speech to the judge who served up justice on a silver platter by reducing Trump’s bond for his conviction in the civil fraud case from $454 million to $175 million, a move that caused the DWAC stock merger with Trump’s Truth Social to jump 35%, proving once again that America is still the best justice money can buy. Delirious over the cut-rate justice, Trump held an impromtu speech in which he stumbled over his own tongue, vowing that “we’ll bring crime back into law and order,” adding that, “you can’t have an election in the middle of a political season.” From there he slid even further down the rabbit hole of babbling rhetoric by adding, “We just had Super Tuesday, and we had a Tuesday after Tuesday already.” The response from the throne of Satan was immediate and hellfire hot, a portion of which is reprinted below from sources believed to be reliable:
From the Imperial Throne of Satan, God of Gods & Lord of Hellfire
My Dearest Son Donald:
I have bent over backwards to corrupt every judge I can on your behalf, except for that damned and deranged Jack Smith and a few others who aren’t buying into the Jesus wants you to rule America with an iron fist that your idolatrous religious brand relies upon. And I’ve also worked overtime helping your beloved brother Vladimir Putin takeover Ukraine so he can have Poland as I promised him, and here you go blabbering on and making Freudian slips about “bringing crime back to law and order.” That’s how you thank me for placing you in power? When did you suddenly decide to start telling the truth? I hate the truth as you must also if we are to get you re-elected come November. If people knew that I’m your family familiar and best friend the jig would be up and Armageddon would become nothing more than a pipe-dream of mine. Now we’re going to have to increase the violence and turn up the heat on every democratic voting district throughout the country. I expect nothing less than drive-by shootings, turmoil, death threats and more intense political intimidations, including race riots this election season. And it goes without saying, I want hellfire on earth. So bring it on!
I also fear the legal witch-hunt excuse will collapse of its own weight now that you’re facing the payoffs to your porn star mistress. When I said you have to win the election by hook or crook, I didn’t mean by hookers, just crooks. Big crooks. Billionaire crooks. United States of Soviet Republican type of crooks. Are you that simple minded? It’s not too late to sweep it under the rug by claiming she’s a deep-state democrat who drugged your Blood of Jesus Juice during holy communion and lured you into bed on my behalf. I understand the need to pay off the bimbo, because if the sex hating Christians had found out, we’d have to endure a woman president. And that is unthinkable. Oh, and speaking of, I loved your snide comment about how Megyn Kelly was “bleeding from her wherever”. Maybe we should have used some of the hush money to start a Trump Tampon company…ha, ha, ha. Tampons devoted to true Christian Family Values, that’s why I love you so much! But I have to ask: why can’t you lie bigger and bolder? When your older brother Adolph was given power with his own Make Germany Great Again speeches, he outdid you, probably because he didn’t waste so much time on the golf course. Instead, he cleverly proclaimed that there would be a “thousand year Reich” which the bobble-headed and brainless Christians thought was a sign that the Millenial Kingdom would be brought about by their savior, Hitler in the guise of Jesus. And here you go, play acting the Garden of Gethsemane scene on a golf course and comparing yourself to Jesus in the Orange no less. It won’t sell, even to Christians I fear. Frankly, if that’s as far as you’re willing to lower the bar to steal the 2024 election, you’ll have to do better or worse, if you understand my meaning.
And don’t get suddenly spineless or back down on the national Anti-Abortion Bill, don’t you damned dare! I plan on blowing this world to the kingdom of hell up beginning in the mideast and depopulating it by 90% before its all over, so I’ll need all the fresh infants to start a new breed of AI Elonites with implants from birth to spawn my own thousand year Reich of the AI Rich. And you shall not, don’t you even dare think of caving in to those wimpering women who have been raped or the daughters of incest I so dearly love to defile like your belated pal Jeff Epstein did, do you understand me? I mean it. Don’t listen to these anti-Christian women who have been getting abortions up to and including the tenth month and beyond of their pregnancies. They must not be allowed this freedom which is why we both loaded the Supremely Extreme Court with a supermajority of United States Soviet Republican judicial fiends. Don’t forget that! I did all of this just for you. Remember the name I bestowed upon you at birth, Donald, which in Hebrew means “world ruler,” but you’re going to have to earn that title. And Trump, the little horn of the bible that is destined to greatness through guile and deceit and destruction and oath-breaking. But so far only your golf game seems to be improving, and thanks only to how you cheat so poorly even at that. So, beginning right now, I expect you to double-down on the deceit and oath-breaking and destruction. And don’t you ever let me catch you telling the truth of how you’re going to “bring crime back into law and order.” I’m all out of Antichrists, so you’re the last of my children, meaning we have to take over the world any way we can, do you understand?
And if you make me take you down, and you flatline on me, I’ll be forced to take possession of your three crooked sons to replace your sorry version of an Antichrist. The bible and it’s God allows for a three generational curse so I’m here for the long haul. I don’t need you. You need me to curse the world beginning with America. And truth be told, your sons are younger and have the age potential I need to carry on my rule over the Earth, so don’t make me say the words I know you’d hate to hear: YOU’RE FIRED! Get a grip on yourself, I’m working overtime to get you the delays of justice you don’t deserve but you’ve got to do your part to tear this freedom loving country apart. There are only so many judges like Aileen Cannon in the world willing to muddy the truth of your sloppy espionage messes and take justice for a slow death march. I expect worse, starting now! She’s doing her part, time for you to do yours.
Even that decrepit soothsayer Nostradamus, that meddlesome sixteenth century peeping Tom of prophecies, talked about these three stooges: Go ahead, read his Century 8.17 quatrain and heed it well: “Those well-heeled will suddenly be cast down, the world will be troubled by three brothers. Their enemies seize the marine city. Hunger, fire, blood, plague; all evils doubled.” See, even this bearded fool sees trouble for you, since their enemies, the judicial branch of America I haven’t yet been able to corrupt, will seize the marine city, your properties in New York City. And by who? A black woman of all things! So get your sorry ass off of the golf course and get back to the business at hand: lying, cheating, stealing, bribing and borrowing money from Moscow to make bond to help your brother Vladamir, do you understand me? And thank me for installing that false prophet Mike Johnson as Tweaker of the House, but tell him if he ever works with the Democrats on another bill to fund the government I’ll make him eat the burning pages from his worthless trophy bible when he arrives in Hell.
